Monday, May 28, 2018

The art of letting go and 7 reasons to do it

It does not take a lot of strength to carry on. It takes a lot of strength to let go.

It is a very good saying. I used to have it as the footnote of all my electronic mails at one point.
The reason I had it there was not to tell people but to tell myself to apply it. 

I have always been able to see myself in a very objective manner. I pride myself on it. I can tell when I am being a brat. Or over emotional. Or really nice. I can give you a list of both my flaws as well as my good points. And one big flaw I had - I had trouble letting go. Didn't matter what. 

Reason: I used to associate letting go with failure. The moment I stop something I had started, it meant I have failed. I have been unable to carry on something I started. The passion I had when I started it has fizzled out.

When I used to let go, I felt like I have backed out of a promise. It could be anything. A diet. Working out. A course. The idea of starting something and then not finishing it seems to reflect on me. On my ability to stick to my goals. Fickle minded and weak even. I judge me.

Today, I seem to have learned to disassociate the two. Sometimes it is alright to believe that you can change your goals. To let go of things you do not want anymore. I wanted to be many things growing up. Teacher. Mother. Writer. IPS Officer. The officer bit obviously was shot down immediately. But I have managed the other three. I have two wonderful children. I work as a writer. I teach part-time as and when I can. I let go of what I realized was not my cup of tea. I have left jobs that did not do me any good. That did not work out for me. I looked for better opportunities without being judgmental. 

I read this very nice definition of commitment. The ability to do something when the passion you had when you make the promise to do it fizzles out. It is OK to say that you are not so passionate about something you were about at one point. But do not hold on for the sake of it. That will definitely hurt. 

You know the classic example. Hold a glad of water in your hand for a minute and you won't feel anything. Hold it for an hour and you will hurt. But how do you know know what to let go? Where do you draw the line between being smart and being tenacious? 

7 reasons to let go

  1. Too much negativity 
  2. It only brings unhappiness
  3. You have changed 
  4. The past is still not the past 
  5. It just does not work anymore
  6. Pointless to pursue 
  7. There is something else 

Letting go can be the best thing you have done for yourself. Holding onto something that does not do you any good can simply weigh you down. Like that innocent looking but very heavy glass of water. 

In the end, three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.