Thursday, April 28, 2016


As per you, what are the inputs for maintaining and nurturing a happy relationship?

Happy relationship. People who have not had the luck of being in one will call it an oxymoron. It is very much real. It does very much exist. Most people can have it. Nothing comes easy in life does it? If you want a promotion at work, you take on extra load. If you want strong muscles, you lift extra weight. The same theory applies to relationships as well. If you want a happy and satisfying relationship, you will have to work on it. You will have to put in your share. On the not-so-good days, you will have to put in more than your share to make it work. It is always worth it.
What do you need to put in to make the relationship a good one? There should be a genuine bond. A real connection. While dating is good and fun, a relationship is taking things to the next level.  A good relationship needs to be nurtured like a plant.
Companionship – it is the most undervalued yet highly important factor that differentiates between a good relationship and a nurturing one. Yes, the sex can be good and yes you can have good times. The key to a real relationship is when the people involved are truly companions to each other, and not just someone to while away time with.  When there is good companionship and trust, the sex is naturally good.
Time –Spending time with each other is the best way to show your appreciation. Buying a bling or a gadget to make the other person happy always works, but it is a very temporary emotion. While happiness is a state of mind, satisfaction is where you want to be. The feeling of contentment can arise with the meeting of the minds, which can happen only when time, not money is spent. The answer is in honest and open communication. “The strongest of all warriors are these two – time and patience”.
Vulnerability – it is ok to be vulnerable to the other person. Displaying your weakness is a very good thing. You are not afraid of showing the other person who you are and what you are thinking. Talking to each other and opening your hearts out is a sure fire way of making things click. Knowing that the other person is always going to be there for you, no matter what, is something every good relationship has.
Trust – when you are vulnerable with the other person, you are telling them that you trust them. You are handing over your remote to them. They know all your buttons but you trust them not to push them. Trust in a relationship opens up to a whole new world of pleasure.
Love – “All you need is love”, said John Lenon. When there is love in a relationship, there is always an inclination to make things work out.  When you like someone, you are expressing what you feel. When you love someone, it is about them. When you love someone, you want what’s best for them. You will always tend to put the other person before you. Wanting to see them happy will be the motivation. This formula can almost never go wrong. This is because they are safe in your hands. They know it too.
Laughter – There is a beautiful quote “They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I’m the one who falls in love”. You might not be able to fall in love with someone who does not make you laugh. Laughter is most definitely the best medicine. Both the physical body and the mind feel better. The endorphins that are released when you laugh from the bottom of your heart make you feel good about yourself. Fun and laughter go hand in hand.
From initial attraction to a long term deep relationship, laughter is always an essential ingredient. In a serious situation, it will diffuse the tension. Sharing a good laugh with your better half is very likely to improve your relationship with them.
A smile – a smile can really go a long way. While a good joke can make you laugh, small gestures can make you smile. Sharing happy moments together do strengthen a bond. It helps you beat the bad times. The good times are worth everything else that the universe can throw at you.
Gestures – End of the day, it is the little things that matter. Smile at your significant other. Greet them with a hug. Open the door for them. Breakfast in bed goes a long way. Going for a small walk in the evening, holding hands is good therapy. Be nice. Chivalry isn’t dead.
Make-up – Fighting isn’t the end of the world. All couples fight. It is the willingness to come together and make it work is what will make the relationship last. Making up can be fun too, besides.
The first thing everyone talks about is being in love with the other person. But when the other person is your best friend, there is nothing better than that, is there.  You can always be yourself with your best friend. When you fall in love with your best friend, or when the one you love becomes your best friend, you are looking at your soul mate.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Common Man

How can a common man contribute to India’s growth and development?

Can a movie be a hit without audience? Can a hero exist without his fans? A common man plays just as important a role in the nation. The layperson or the average Joe has a crucial place in the day to day affairs of the nation. He is the person for whom the government works for. He is the person who contributes to the Gross Domestic Product. No transaction could ever take place without this common man. This common man votes and elects the representative who eventually forms the government. Nothing happens without this common man.
The problem is that the common man does not know his own value. He has no idea that if he puts his two cents worth of thought and action, he can actually change the future of the country. The common man believes he is just another commoner and that his role is to just keep the ball rolling. Since every ‘common man’ thinks the same, no one thinks outside the box. Change cannot happen over-night.
The common man has been trained from birth to stay away from politics. The saying that politics is a bad word and politicians are all bad have been ingrained in the blood. It is an open secret. Children grow up wanting to be teachers, doctors and engineers. Very few times would ‘politician’ be an ambition.
Now you do not have to be a Politian to be a part of the change that India needs to develop. There are a lot of things that you, as a common man can do in order to be the change.
 The Indian constitution is not just another term. They are actual words with meaning. I personally feel that if we gave the constitution a read and tried to follow what we could, it would make a world of difference to us as a family, a town, a city, a state and a country over all.
The fundamental rights and duties have a lot to say. The right speaks on what the government ought to.  The rights aim for progress if the man. What makes them fundamental is the fact that they help in the development of the common man. 
 The duties tell us what we should do. They play a role vital for the best interests of our country. They include both civic as well as moral duties. They include development of the scientific temper and spirit of enquiry which is quite important to any kind of growth.
Both the rights and duties play a very important and lasting role in the development of the country.
The other important aspect is payment of taxes. You might complain and wonder where the money is going when the roads are not clean and the service provided by the government is not impeccable. Yes please do ask all these questions, by all means. But ask them after you pay your taxes. This way you play your role and you keep a tab on where your money is being utilized. You do not get to ask questions when you do not do what are asked for you. I am a firm believer in that.
Vote. You can choose to vote. It is your right. It is also your right to abstain from voting. But whatever be the case, make sure you go to the booth and declare. When you do vote, keep in mind that who you vote for represents you and his actions will affect you. So choose carefully.
The resources of our country are limited. It is in the hands of the common man to use them wisely. Save water and electricity. Walk when you can. Cycle if you can. Use public transport. Save water. Do not waste food.
One of the main issues is bribery and corruption. It is noticed that people want to be paid extra to do their job. The job they are paid to do. So it is in the hands of the common man to make sure that this bribe doesn’t take place. The bribe giver tends to blame the bribe taker and vice versa. If there is no one to give the bribe, chances are no one will ask for one. Yes, the work might take a hit. But it is time to let it happen. Get the work done the legal way. Pay the traffic police the right fine and get the receipt for it. We do not want to be known as a nation of bribery and corruption. This is definitely in the hands of the common man. Growth does not happen this way.
Children are the future of any nation. The underprivileged do not get what the average take for granted. If the layman took up to taking responsibility of either teaching or sponsoring those who cannot afford basic education (though it is a fundamental right according to the Indian Constitution) the children will be able to contribute to the economy.
Last but not the least, take responsibility. Be accountable. You can start small. With your local area. Ensure that the resources are allocated properly. Keep the place clean. It is your country.

Ultimately the nation is made up of common man. The nation is indeed in the hands of the common man. You do not have to be a deep thinker or a philanthropist in order to make the difference. You just need to do what you ought to do. As a mother you take care of the child. As a doctor you treat your patient. As a common man, play your role. That is all it takes.