Soul Mate

I have been writing for a while now. Professionally. Guess that makes me a writer officially doesn't it? It all started because of a good friend. Someone who refuses to take credit for it. Anyway, I am thoroughly enjoying the work. I left one job last week due to various reasons. I am not going to go into the details now.
So I was looking out for another job. I had to write a piece on relationship. Their website is about relationships. I felt I could write a lot about it.

This was my piece. I wrote it as I felt it. In fifteen minutes. I guess I really meant it. Did not need google at all. That was my biggest clue I guess.

What  if, I didn't marry my soul mate?

We have grown up watching and reading books that revolve around soul mates meeting and finally ending up together. The story always ends up with the magical words, ‘happily ever after’. Our minds have come to believe that we must marry our soul mates. That the purpose of life and living is to search for that elusive person and find them. Life is literally incomplete without the other person. We are incomplete without that person.  It has been made out to be some sort of a summit, the holy grail that is the reason for living.

Books and movies make it all sound very dramatic indeed. You really cannot hear the ‘click’ when you meet someone you can completely synchronise with. There are no violins playing and no bells ringing.  Some people carry a check list with them ticking off the points that do match and then decide to tie the knot. Others follow their instinct and their heart and just do it.

The point is, you do not realise whether that person is truly your soul mate until much later in the day. Is it too late then? Is it really the end of the world when you realise that the one you did end up with is actually a good friend and that you might have more in common with that random stranger you ran into at the departmental store or at a party?

It can be a little hard to take in when the truth sinks in. But then in time you will realise that there are worse things in life.  The truth is no one can be a one hundred percent right for another. There will always be issues. There will always be misunderstanding. There will always be the need for some personal space. The trick is in trying to make things work out, no matter what.

That is what makes two people perfect for each other. Not the ability to spend all the time together without fighting, but the willingness to sort things out and want to be with each other no matter what. That is the true characteristic of a soul mate. Not the number of things in common, but the desire to want to be with each other despite the differences. Not the lack of tiffs, but the ability to make up and go to bed happy.

Your partner is your soul mate, only if you want it to be. Else you are just roommates.

Tolerance

The beauty of tolerance

I can be the embodiment of patience. I can make parenting look like a piece of cake. I can make myself appear as the girl born to smile and make life look like a walk in the park.
and then I lose patience. My tolerance level drops. Small things start to irritate me. The daughter who made me smile five min back can make me mad enough to want to kill someone.

There are times when I feel that making small talk is truly hard. Being alone seems like bliss. Not having to talk and fill in uncomfortable silences seems like such a good opportunity.

wonder why that is ... There are a few people in my life who can literally get away with anything. Some depending on my mood. Some can fill by body with rage simply by their existence.

End of the day it is all a choice isnt it? If someone is really the apple of your eye, nothing they say can get on your nerves. 

Being Busy - doing nothing.

I talked about time management in my last blog. The fact that I was learning to multi task and work and take care of kids and husband and have a social life . that I am incredibly proud of. I have learnt that I can make time for what is important to me. And if I am struggling to do something or haven't managed to do it it.. it means that somewhere in my head, it is considered as not important.

Yesterday, after a long time, I managed to get some time off. I have two work-from-home jobs and both jobs did not require my attention yesterday. My kids were off and they were just randomly hanging out - playing around not demanding my attention either except for meal times. So I was just lounging around taking it easy. Random cleaning. Random chatting with friends. Random playing with kids. I was doing a bunch of things but nothing constructive or productive.

And I felt I was wasting time. I felt that I should be doing something useful. I felt that I should have tangible results at the end of the day. If I have nothing to show then it is indeed a waste of time.

Now why should that be? Back in the day before I was working, when I was only watching kids and house and people asked me what I did all day I'd look at them thinking - dude go have kids then ask me what I do all day. Today when I do all that I used to do then, it seems like I am not doing enough.

Why does one have to do something all the time? Why cannot relax be a thing too? What did you do today? I took it easy and relaxed. Oh cool yay.

Now that should be a good conversation too 

Time management

There was a time when I was only taking care of kids and house. And I still wondered how time flew. It seemed like I was doing a lot.
Today I'm working from home as well as the above. And I have a desire to study more. And I'm wondering how absolutely jobless I must have been when I was only handling house and kids.
End of the day its all how you manage your time isn't it? And priority. Today I make only those calls that I think are absolutely essential. I read those books that I want to. Rest really seem inconsequential. Nothing else seems to matter. Things that I considered life threatening if absent are not the same as today.

Me

So .. I met someone lately ... a 23-year-old student going abroad soon to study more. We clicked like that in many ways and managed to connect. She asked me about my blog and all. She wanted to know why I was not into writing personal stuff. It made me wonder too. I am not the kind to post snaps of my children on Facebook or even share them much. This is who I am.

But a blog about me once in a while cannot hurt can it? So I decided to see how it works

Here goes nothing


Hi ....

I am a mom of two kids. I have always felt that I was born to be  mom because I am all about children. I am a teacher by profession currently on a very long maternity leave. I do not see it as a sacrifice or anything because this is what I chose to do today. I have been working from home for a while now writing freelance. I love writing and I decided to see what I could contribute here on a personal level as well. I hope my blog is going to be all fun and frolic and not just mundane talk about the usual mommy and wifey life.

This personal blog will come in between avengers and relationships and what not.

I do not mean to advice. It is not to be taken as one. :)



Me. 

The Earth’s Mightiest Heroes

Growing up I had read tonnes and tonnes of mythological tales. My favourite was the epic Mahabharatha. The main plot is absolutely fantastic. I loved every bit of how the story took twists and turns. What blew my mind was the fact that each character had their history. They had their own tale to tell. The different characters manage to enter into the main plot and entwine themselves in the main story beautifully. Everyone fit like a glove. The different characters coming together for a common cause is a time tested plot. And the same is used in the movie – The Avengers.

I personally love the movie ‘The Avengers’. It has all the makings of a blockbuster. There is action, comedy, drama, emotion and even a little bit of romance if you look hard enough. No one goes to see this movie with the intent to look for inspirational messages. But there are a few things you could pick up from it. Sometimes, the best messages come from the most unexpected places.

The movie begins with Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division) an agency in charge of world peace, working on the Tesseract. This alien technology is filled with unlimited power. Nick tries to build weapons in order to maintain peace (irony by itself). When this device mysteriously opens up a portal to another universe, a Demigod makes his grand entrance. Loki, the Norse God of mischief and fire, takes away the source of unlimited sustainable energy. This forces Fury to assemble various people from different corners of the world.  Loki plans to use the cube to gain power over Earth, using the help of Chitauri, an alien race of not-so-nice people.

The team assembled by Fury is coined as ‘The Avengers’ and is made up of Steve Rogers aka Captain America, Natasha Romanov aka The Black Widow, Tony Stark aka Iron Man, Dr. Bruce Banner aka The Hulk, Thor – brother of Loki and Clint Barton aka Hawkeye.

The characters do have trouble coming together in the beginning. The clashing of the ego is just the beginning. They seem to have a lot of dissimilarities. The only thing they have in common is the goal – to save the world. Their character flaws and personalities come in the way a lot. Loki, the nemesis uses this to his advantage. By the time they realise how to get along and work together, half the movie is already over. ‘United they stand, Divided they fall’ is a wonderful proverb that has been proven to be timeless. Dividing the problem and not the team is the crux.

The rest of the movie is about how they defeat the common enemy. The age old moral story about a father teaching his sons to stick together with a bunch of sticks comes to my head. The movie has brilliant one-liners and slapstick comedy to lighten up the vigorous action that is required to defeat the aliens. There is something for everyone.

The movie shows how you can be a superhero and still have flaws. You can have all the money and technology in the world and yet feel inadequate. You can be a super confident spy with smooth mind-blowing moves and yet have a deep dark history. You can be an intelligent scientist with breathtaking rage issues. You could be born during the world war and have time literally frozen for you.

The beauty lies in the fact that the seemingly most unlikely people come together and make what is now famously known as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

What I love about this movie is that nobody is perfect. We all have trouble accepting who we are and are too busy trying to fit in. The fact remains that we can be who we are and be accepted as who we are. Now the whole world need not accept us. A select few will do nicely. 

Relationships

As per you, what are the inputs for maintaining and nurturing a happy relationship?

Happy relationship. People who have not had the luck of being in one will call it an oxymoron. It is very much real. It does very much exist. Most people can have it. Nothing comes easy in life does it? If you want a promotion at work, you take on extra load. If you want strong muscles, you lift extra weight. The same theory applies to relationships as well. If you want a happy and satisfying relationship, you will have to work on it. You will have to put in your share. On the not-so-good days, you will have to put in more than your share to make it work. It is always worth it.

What do you need to put in to make the relationship a good one? There should be a genuine bond. A real connection. While dating is good and fun, a relationship is taking things to the next level.  A good relationship needs to be nurtured like a plant.

Companionship – it is the most undervalued yet highly important factor that differentiates between a good relationship and a nurturing one. Yes, the sex can be good and yes you can have good times. The key to a real relationship is when the people involved are truly companions to each other, and not just someone to while away time with.  When there is good companionship and trust, the sex is naturally good.

Time –Spending time with each other is the best way to show your appreciation. Buying a bling or a gadget to make the other person happy always works, but it is a very temporary emotion. While happiness is a state of mind, satisfaction is where you want to be. The feeling of contentment can arise with the meeting of the minds, which can happen only when time, not money is spent. The answer is in honest and open communication. “The strongest of all warriors are these two – time and patience”.

Vulnerability – it is ok to be vulnerable to the other person. Displaying your weakness is a very good thing. You are not afraid of showing the other person who you are and what you are thinking. Talking to each other and opening your hearts out is a sure fire way of making things click. Knowing that the other person is always going to be there for you, no matter what, is something every good relationship has.

Trust – when you are vulnerable with the other person, you are telling them that you trust them. You are handing over your remote to them. They know all your buttons but you trust them not to push them. Trust in a relationship opens up to a whole new world of pleasure.

Love – “All you need is love”, said John Lenon. When there is love in a relationship, there is always an inclination to make things work out.  When you like someone, you are expressing what you feel. When you love someone, it is about them. When you love someone, you want what’s best for them. You will always tend to put the other person before you. Wanting to see them happy will be the motivation. This formula can almost never go wrong. This is because they are safe in your hands. They know it too.

Laughter – There is a beautiful quote “They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I’m the one who falls in love”. You might not be able to fall in love with someone who does not make you laugh. Laughter is most definitely the best medicine. Both the physical body and the mind feel better. The endorphins that are released when you laugh from the bottom of your heart make you feel good about yourself. Fun and laughter go hand in hand.

From initial attraction to a long term deep relationship, laughter is always an essential ingredient. In a serious situation, it will diffuse the tension. Sharing a good laugh with your better half is very likely to improve your relationship with them.

A smile – a smile can really go a long way. While a good joke can make you laugh, small gestures can make you smile. Sharing happy moments together do strengthen a bond. It helps you beat the bad times. The good times are worth everything else that the universe can throw at you.

Gestures – End of the day, it is the little things that matter. Smile at your significant other. Greet them with a hug. Open the door for them. Breakfast in bed goes a long way. Going for a small walk in the evening, holding hands is good therapy. Be nice. Chivalry isn’t dead.

Make-up – Fighting isn’t the end of the world. All couples fight. It is the willingness to come together and make it work is what will make the relationship last. Making up can be fun too, besides.

The first thing everyone talks about is being in love with the other person. But when the other person is your best friend, there is nothing better than that, is there.  You can always be yourself with your best friend. When you fall in love with your best friend, or when the one you love becomes your best friend, you are looking at your soul mate.

Common Man

How can a common man contribute to India’s growth and development?

Can a movie be a hit without audience? Can a hero exist without his fans? A common man plays just as important a role in the nation. The layperson or the average Joe has a crucial place in the day to day affairs of the nation. He is the person for whom the government works for. He is the person who contributes to the Gross Domestic Product. No transaction could ever take place without this common man. This common man votes and elects the representative who eventually forms the government. Nothing happens without this common man.

The problem is that the common man does not know his own value. He has no idea that if he puts his two cents worth of thought and action, he can actually change the future of the country. The common man believes he is just another commoner and that his role is to just keep the ball rolling. Since every ‘common man’ thinks the same, no one thinks outside the box. Change cannot happen over-night.

The common man has been trained from birth to stay away from politics. The saying that politics is a bad word and politicians are all bad have been ingrained in the blood. It is an open secret. Children grow up wanting to be teachers, doctors and engineers. Very few times would ‘politician’ be an ambition.

Now you do not have to be a Politian to be a part of the change that India needs to develop. There are a lot of things that you, as a common man can do in order to be the change.

 The Indian constitution is not just another term. They are actual words with meaning. I personally feel that if we gave the constitution a read and tried to follow what we could, it would make a world of difference to us as a family, a town, a city, a state and a country over all.

The fundamental rights and duties have a lot to say. The right speaks on what the government ought to.  The rights aim for progress if the man. What makes them fundamental is the fact that they help in the development of the common man. 

 The duties tell us what we should do. They play a role vital for the best interests of our country. They include both civic as well as moral duties. They include development of the scientific temper and spirit of enquiry which is quite important to any kind of growth.

Both the rights and duties play a very important and lasting role in the development of the country.

The other important aspect is payment of taxes. You might complain and wonder where the money is going when the roads are not clean and the service provided by the government is not impeccable. Yes please do ask all these questions, by all means. But ask them after you pay your taxes. This way you play your role and you keep a tab on where your money is being utilized. You do not get to ask questions when you do not do what are asked for you. I am a firm believer in that.

Vote. You can choose to vote. It is your right. It is also your right to abstain from voting. But whatever be the case, make sure you go to the booth and declare. When you do vote, keep in mind that who you vote for represents you and his actions will affect you. So choose carefully.

The resources of our country are limited. It is in the hands of the common man to use them wisely. Save water and electricity. Walk when you can. Cycle if you can. Use public transport. Save water. Do not waste food.

One of the main issues is bribery and corruption. It is noticed that people want to be paid extra to do their job. The job they are paid to do. So it is in the hands of the common man to make sure that this bribe doesn’t take place. The bribe giver tends to blame the bribe taker and vice versa. If there is no one to give the bribe, chances are no one will ask for one. Yes, the work might take a hit. But it is time to let it happen. Get the work done the legal way. Pay the traffic police the right fine and get the receipt for it. We do not want to be known as a nation of bribery and corruption. This is definitely in the hands of the common man. Growth does not happen this way.

Children are the future of any nation. The underprivileged do not get what the average take for granted. If the layman took up to taking responsibility of either teaching or sponsoring those who cannot afford basic education (though it is a fundamental right according to the Indian Constitution) the children will be able to contribute to the economy.

Last but not the least, take responsibility. Be accountable. You can start small. With your local area. Ensure that the resources are allocated properly. Keep the place clean. It is your country.

Ultimately the nation is made up of common man. The nation is indeed in the hands of the common man. You do not have to be a deep thinker or a philanthropist in order to make the difference. You just need to do what you ought to do. As a mother you take care of the child. As a doctor you treat your patient. As a common man, play your role. That is all it takes. 

Hello world

hello blogging world!

I have always been big on numbers. 30th birthday or ten years of married life. I always make a big deal out of such things. Recently I completed ** ( I was asked not to disclose my age HAHA ) . And I was thinking .. hmm what can i do that is new, refreshing and yet something I can continue for a long long time. I started writing professionally and I realized I did like writing. It is a lot of fun putting your thoughts to words and watching them on paper. Or on the electronic device. As the case may be.

And this blog was a gift to me by a good friend. So why not I do make a big deal out of it yes? So when the idea was first put across, I wondered what I would write about. Blogs do seem to be all about us. A literary version of a selfie. But then I always did have narcissistic tendencies. So this seemed like something I should have done a long time ago. I mean I used to write diaries. And then for some reason I stopped. There is really no better time than now, is there? So here I resume.

And for the theme for my blog. I have given it a little bit of thought. Now I am definitely not tech-savvy. Nor am I a specialist in any field. Well I do love children. And superheroes. And such random stuff. So I am guessing my theme will be around random stuff. Let’s see what time has in store for us. 

I looked up a bit on the net. Looks like the whole idea of blogging can put a bit of a pressure on you. Will it be liked? Will it be well received? Will people think I'm stupid? Do people even want to know what I'm thinking? All these thoughts are bound to drive one crazy. Since I am barely starting on this whole 'blogging' idea, the pressure has not yet hit me I suppose. Let us see how long that lasts too. 

Anyway.. I'm here for now. And I intend to keep this up for as long as I can. It being a birthday gift and all. :) 

Have a nice day !!!